Christmas Reflection

       It's Christmas night and I wonder about the meaning of it all: the birth, the life, the message, the gift.

       For me, the birth of Jesus signals the movement from separation consciousness to unity consciousness.  His life and teaching (e.g. "I and the Father are one") move God from out there to in here.  His realization of oneness opens us to conscious connection with all that is – every person, every critter, every tree – this planet, this galaxy, this universe.  Our eyes open to the absurdity of deliberately harming another being. 

       Christmas greetings invite peace on earth and peace in our hearts.  The season invites reverence, reminding us that the divine is here – within us and around us, everywhere we look.  

       Beneath the fiction of separation, all is love.  Beneath our human goofiness, we are love and in love.  We are the gift. 

       Let's be the gift.  Let's do Christmas every day. 

Love Breath

       Lately, I've been playing with breath and imagery in my meditation practice.  What follows is a sequence I've been practicing – which I invite you to try.  If you do, please take your time.  Linger for a while at each step of the process.  As always, feel free to skip steps or to depart from what I describe in any way that feels right for you. 

       In seated meditation, I start with an erect posture, my tongue at the roof of the mouth and a little smile on my face.  Disengaging from busy mind and the cares of the day, I focus on the sensation of breathing – the feel of air moving through nasal passages, down into the lungs and back out – noticing, for example, the temperature changes and the sensations of fullness and release, as breath flows.

       After a while, I imagine that breath is love.  As I breathe in, I fill with love and compassion for myself.  As I breathe out, I send love and compassion to all.

       Next, I focus on the heart.  I inhale love into my heart.  I exhale love to all hearts.

       Finally, I imagine breathing love in and out of every pore, so that my entire body becomes a love radiator, increasingly transparent to the flow of love.  As self-consciousness recedes, there comes a sense of melting into love's radiant spaciousness.  Separation disappears.

       Later, as I reflect on these experiences, it seems true to say that, at some point in the process, I am no longer breathing love.  Love is breathing me.

A Moment in Grace

       Sitting in the circle of group Thursday night, listening to people dear to me speak about how they allow themselves to receive, I felt my heart smile in response to the loving energy of our gathering.

       Unbidden, came a simple statement – a quiet, matter of fact declaration:  "I am a beautiful being".  There was not the tearful sense of redemption I sometimes feel when touched by life – no awe, really – just a peaceful feeling.  The egoic self was strangely silent.  I remember thinking "my heart is good", with no judgments about accomplishments or mistakes, good deeds or bad deeds.  In fact, all that stuff seemed irrelevant.

       The experience lasted maybe a couple seconds.  Then, effortlessly, my attention returned to the flow in the room.  Only later, after group was over, did I begin to appreciate the significance – and the originality – of that moment.

       Ego loves the familiar repetition of the same old thoughts.  This was not one of my usual thoughts.  This was a moment in grace, a gentle reminder for me – and now, I hope, a gentle reminder for you – of who we are.

Dawn's Passing

       A friend, colleague and fellow sojourner, Dawn Beye, died Thursday morning, November 29th – my birthday – and, I believe, a birth day for her.  On her Caring Bridge website, she shared many inspiring journal entries, one of which, I posted as a Weekly Wisdom, titled Dawn's Light. (To find that posting, click under Archive on August, 2009.)  

       This morning, I was planning to flesh out a Weekly Wisdom, called Love Breath, that's been percolating for a while.  As I sat at the computer, Dawn was on my mind, and my mind was in an odd space.  At the top of the page, instead of "Love Breath", I typed "Dawn's Passing".   

       I'm not quite sure how that happened, but I am clear:  Love Breath will need to wait.

       On the day of Dawn's death, her husband, Kirk, posted on Caring Bridge a letter she had written a few months ago to their newborn granddaughter.  It's a legacy Dawn left before her passing. 

       I pass portions of it your way.

"I am writing this especially for you, as well as for my grandchildren who may arrive on earth in the future.  Perhaps what I write for you will have meaning for others as well – especially for family and friends – and even for the larger family of humankind.

"All living beings are connected.  Even the earth, itself, with all its forms of life and creation could be seen as 'family'.  All things are part of an intricate web of life.  Some might call that Oneness or Wholeness.  All the world's great spiritual philosophies and traditions acknowledge this sense of Unity.  The sciences, too, especially physics, with theories like the Zero Point Field, seek to understand and explain a source from which all form arises.

"On earth, it would be wonderful if we could sense such Oneness – treating each other and all that exists with respect, kindness and love.  That is how families function best.

"Unfortunately, we often miss the mark on this.  Whether in our immediate family or the larger family of humankind, as we seek to live consciously and conscientiously on our planet, we are guaranteed to encounter some challenging people and circumstances.

"Here's one of life's little secrets.  All of your experiences – whether they seem negative or positive – can teach you something – if  you are willing to learn.  And if you are willing to learn, you will find that in the end everything you experience in life is good.

"Like an alchemist you change dross into gold.  You can become a person who shapes your own world with confidence, power and, especially, with compassion and caring for yourself and others.

"Taking this kind of perspective requires strength and persistence.  It is not an easy path.  But, paradoxically, it will make life easier for you – and so much richer.  For you will live with greater appreciation and awe of everything in life.  You will be in charge of your life, no matter what happens externally.  You will have the power to create joy in life.  The ability is built into you, but it must be noticed and cultivated to become real for you….

"Our journey through life changes over the years.  Sometimes with unanticipated twists and turns.  Our lives evolve – and that's good.  It means we are growing.  And it means we have multiple opportunities to become more of who we are.

"Claiming and expressing who you really are is one of the most important things you can do to live a fulfilling life.  When you live as your own unique self, your understanding and gifts expand.  After all, you came to earth to be you !

"But there's no arrival at a particular destination labeled, 'Infinite Self'.  That would make you finite wouldn't it?  Instead, with each expansion of your sense of self, you will discover a new horizon to explore.  Which I think is an absolutely wonderful way to live!  Always something to look forward to.

"Remember that you were born perfect, open, beautiful, aware and wise.  You are already a masterpiece!  Remembering this is the key….

"Babies shine so brilliantly with divine light.  Adults, on the other hand, have often had life experiences that result in a filtering or masking of their light.  While that light of our being never goes away, as we grow up, we may forget it is there, or bury it under layers of life experiences that seem to contradict it…

"During our growing up years, we are shaped by many external factors – family, culture, schools, religion, politics and many other tings – all of which will seek to influence you.  Such influences can add layers that separate you from your truest Self, even when they are well-intended and meant to be positive.  We generally have things to un-learn to remember and rediscover who we truly are….

"As a child, I saw the whole world as Light.  I've been lucky to have had the gift of seeing beyond the outer forms of people and things to the Love and Light that shines within them.  This Love and Light definitely trumps everything else.  It's really all that exists.  Everything else that we believe to be 'real' is just clutter we've collected, judgments we've made, and other perceptions that we've allowed to cloud our awareness.

"Even people who do horrific things have a spark of this Love and Light within them somewhere.  It may be deeply buried and hidden, however.  It is wise in this physical world to be discerning and to take self-protective actions around persons who are disconnected from their true selves.  It is only in disconnection and separation that we could ever harm another person.  Because otherwise we would see others as part of the Whole in which we all reside.  To purposefully harm anyone else is to harm oneself, and all of humanity.

"Even when boundaries need to be set for the well-being of all, it is helpful to remember that there is always more than meets the eye.  Persons who are so separated from their own Light are not likely to ever perceive it, unless someone else acknowledges it within them.  One can do this from a safe distance.  Forgiveness helps.  Learning from any negative experience helps.  Living life well despite what happens to us helps.  If we hold onto feelings like vengeance, bitterness or hatred, we ultimately poison ourselves, and often those around us as well.  Then everyone involved becomes more separated from their own Light.

"Life has so much to explore, enjoy and appreciate.  There is no one-size-fits-all; no one 'right' way in life.  I don't have 'the answers', and neither does anyone else.  In fact, be wary of those who believe they have captured 'the truth'.  They are the least likely to know much of anything.  The closer you get to a truth, the more infinite it becomes, always calling you to the next level of understanding.

"Truth also is not 'out there'.  It is in your own heart, waiting for you to perceive it.  Truth comes from within.

"So don't take anything I offer as the ultimate truth.  Words are too limited to encompass that adequately anyway.  But I hope my words will prompt you to create your own thoughts, expand into the joy of life and discover the ever-expanding truths that shine brightly within your own heart….

"What a wonderful universe this is!  Gifts to unwrap everywhere we look."

Meurial Dawn Weldon Beye

December 5, 1953 – November 29, 2012

Gratitude Attitude

       Last summer, walking briskly along the Mississippi on the Beaver Island Trail with my good friend, Rich, I inquired about his injured shoulder.  He said something like:  "It still bothers me some.  Then I think about the thousands of other parts of my body that are working just right, and I feel blessed."

       Rich is rich.  His life is grounded in gratitude. 

       What an act of mercy gratitude is.  Focusing on what I have is so much kinder to myself than immersing in what's missing.  As I stay present, inhabiting my body, I feel a stark contrast between the tight contraction of scarcity thinking and the relaxed energy, the lightness, gratitude brings. 

       With practice, seeing beauty and bounty can become a life-enhancing habit.  Practice, practice, practice.

       Happy Thanksgiving!

Befriending Fear

       I’m back from a wonderful week in Ojai, California, with Richard Moss and a beautiful group of fellow travelers.  We spent time exploring how we relate to fear, a powerful and pervasive presence in our lives.  We shared how we protect ourselves from fear – using old survival strategies that may have served us early in life, but now are more likely to sap vitality and the fullness of being in the moment.  Richard was clear:  We don’t defeat fear.  We find ways to co-create with it.

       One night, just before bedtime, I picked up Richard’s latest book, Inside-Out Healing, and said to myself:  “Whatever page I open to, that’s what I’ll read.”   To my amazement and delight, the book opened to page 153 and the heading, “A Word about Fear”. 

       I decided right then to share with you some quotes from that section. 

       “Fear is a wall that every one of us hits again and again throughout our lives.  Some people try to climb the wall by filling themselves with hope.  Others try to ignore it, perhaps by keeping themselves very busy.  Some try to go around it by taking care of everyone else, and there are those who put on blinders and let their world get smaller and smaller over time.  But sooner or later, to fully live, we have to sit down in front of fear and let it teach us about ourselves.  When we do, it becomes one of our greatest allies in the journey to wisdom and healing…. (p. 153)

       “There are innumerable ways of rationalizing fear that give you the mistaken idea that you know what it is, when in reality you haven’t engaged the feeling consciously.  If you did, then you would clearly realize that at the level of sensation, all fear is the same….  (p. 153)

       “If you turn your awareness toward fear instead of thinking about it – and actually allow yourself to experience the sensation of fear while refusing to let that sensation carry you into stories – the stories will dissolve as fast as they form.  Then, like all feelings, fear continues to transmute.  It becomes energy – aliveness not frozen in contraction….  Then you will have reached a whole new level of inner freedom.”  (pp. 153-154)

       Richard invites us to attend gently to fear as a sensation in the body, to make a compassionate space for fear, to breathe into it and let it flow naturally through us.  Don’t let stories take over and torment.  Stay in the body.  Stay with the breath.

       From the standpoint of our spacious selves, fear is just an ancient, young friend who sometimes makes a lot of noise.

Mystery  I

I inhabit

This body

Right here

Right now.

I inhabit

This universe

Everywhere here

Eternally now.

Infinitesimal

Speck

Infinite

Scope

Goofy

Grand

Mystery

I am.

 Seeing  I

Old stories

Of threat and woe

Distort my vision,

And off I go

Projecting pain

Reacting fast

My swirling head

Prisoned in past.

Breathe slow, my boy.

Open your eyes.

See what's real.

Don't buy the lies.

Stay here, my man.

Shed the disguise.

Your space is vast.

Remember true size.

Love Human and Divine

       In preparation for a recent Richard Moss retreat focusing on The Lover's Journey and at the recommendation of a friend and colleague (thanks, Susan), I re-read parts of the book, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love, by Jungian analyst, Robert Johnson.  Although it was written almost 30 years ago, I'm amazed by how pertinent it still feels to me.  Here are some passages from the book that I hope you enjoy.  

       By the way, I believe that what he says applies to both men and women.

       "Romantic love is an unholy muddle of two holy loves.  One is "divine" love:  It is our natural urge toward the inner world, the soul's love of God.  The other is "human" love, which is our love for people – flesh-and-blood human beings.  Both of these loves are valid; both are necessary.  But by some trick of psychological evolution our culture has muddled the two loves in the potion of romantic love and nearly lost them both."  (p. 131)

       "The great flaw in romantic love is that it seeks one love but forgets the other."  (p. 138)

       "A voice within each man insists fervently that it is a wonderful thing to search forever for the perfect idealized feminine, rather than settle for the flesh-and-blood woman that real life has put into his arms…. When a flesh-and-blood, mortal human appears in a man's life who offers him love and relatedness, he ends in rejecting her because she can't measure up to the idealized perfection who can only live in his inner mind." (P. 129)

       "One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic.  It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being in love."  (p. 133)

Sensational Friendship

Make room, James.

Make room for what you feel

For what you want

For who you are.

Make room, James.

Make room for what she feels

For what she wants

For what she stirs in you.

Make room for life, James.

Inside you, there's ample space

For heartache and joy.

No danger, don't run.

Breathe into your belly.

Breathe into your heart.

Let breath hold you in its

Compassionate expanse.

Hold tenderly this body.

All that it feels

Is simply sensation.

Be a sensational friend.