Force or Flow

       I haven’t written in weeks.  The lapse nags at me – along with other important things that aren’t getting done.  With my 70^th birthday a few months down the road, I’m busier and working more than ever before. 

       I’ve been experimenting with flow, practicing non-resistance to the flow of a work-heavy life.  I’ve been amazed at how much can get done, with little sense of effort – working softer and freer, not harder.

       Over-extension interrupted the rhythm.  Self-nagging brought flow to a crawl.  Forcing, as it inevitably does, generated resistance.  Work was hard again.

       Deciding to just do it, I sit at the keyboard – consciously releasing the inner nag, softening, opening, inviting the free and joyful flow this practice brings.  Just begin, James.  Let being slip into doing.  Allow an unfolding that forgoes figuring, planning, time press and insistence upon efficiency, profundity and perfection.

       I think about the flow of life, the syncopated rhythm of flow and force – periods of inner companionship and cooperation, punctuated by the interior stalemate of pushing and resisting.  Sometimes, doing the dance, we are one with the music.  Sometimes, it seems, we’re out there with two left feet. 

       I feel a smile of mercy for all us beings, whose residence in flow is so inconsistent. 

       For six years now, I’ve been writing and sending forth.  The original intent was not to submit my work, but to quote others whose wise voices fueled my soul – thus, the heading “Weekly Wisdoms”.  I doubt if, back then, I’d dare call my writing “wisdom”.   After the first week or two, my voice elbowed its way to the foreground, and, for quite some time, writing flowed on a near-weekly basis.  Not so now.

       I need to bow to the reality of life as it is and release myself from the self-imposed pressure of weekly postings.  It’s time to honor my natural irregularity – as I honor my commitment to this practice and my enjoyment of sitting at this keyboard with you.  I won’t let this go.  I intend to let it find its rhythm.

       And so, a new heading:  Wisdom Writings.

       Thank you.

Softening to Well-Disguised Gifts

       I’ve been touched lately by the challenges life brings to people I care about.  I see the heroism of my 95-year old mother, facing her mortality, talking freely about it, bouncing back yet one more time from debilitating health issues.  I see the heroic spirit of dear friend who, in the face of inoperable cancer, throws a celebration-of-life party and continues to engage life, outliving predictions.  In my office, I see heroes every day, facing all sorts of adversity.  I see the courage required from them to keep putting one foot in front of the other, taking that next step with integrity, even when the path looks bleak and uncertain.  I see the courage of showing up and the courage of letting go.

       Here’s a passage from Mark Nepo in The Endless Practice, which speaks of eloquently about what life calls forth in us.

     “Tragedy happens to ordinary people every day: a loved one dies, or leaves, a purpose is lost, a life’s work is destroyed, our investment in a dream seems wasted when the dream catches fire.  Herein lies the mystery of woundedness and its infinite connection to aliveness:  life constantly asks us to meet fear and pain with love.  Not an easy thing to do.  But when we can, it’s like dousing a fire with water.  In the simmer, we are softened to each other and refined by the air.  This is the hard gift that waits in the troubles of living….

       “It is often at the intersection of beauty and suffering that we find meaning.  When vulnerable, the sage in us appears.  When softened, we often find wisdom in the press of beauty against pain.”  (Nepo, pp. 130-131)

       I am challenged by Mark’s words and by the heroism I see around me - to open my heart fully and resolutely to life and its curriculum - to stay transparent to the flow of love, in all circumstances – and to soften, with wisdom and courage, when faced with life’s well-disguised gifts. 

Wilderness Wisdom

       I’m just back from a wonderful, five-day wilderness retreat in the Boundary Waters with my good friend, Rich.  We spent much of the time in silence, soaking in the beauty around us – sights and sounds – waters rushing, waves lapping on the shore, the lush greens of cedars and pines, dramatic sunsets and moon sets, including one spectacular descending sun haloed in double-rainbow light.  For me it was a much-needed time to rest and recover from depletion, to listen in stillness, to re-connect with life, to re-balance and re-focus.

       We camped on a peninsula with a path – maybe a couple hundred yards long - connecting the lakeside where we pitched our tents and the riverside where the roar of the rapids immediately hushed my inner chatter.

       On the second day, that short hike between lake and river slowed to a walking meditation.  With each inhalation, I invited earth’s loving energy into my soles and up through my body to the top of my head.  With each exhalation, I sent the energy back down through my body and back into the earth.  My intention was to be as open and transparent as possible to the healing flow of love.

       At some point it struck me:  I was making love with Mother Earth – and being made love to.  I felt a pure connection with the Divine Feminine – and an ancient, familiar hunger for deep communion with the Feminine.    

       As I stayed with the experience, I remembered, once again, the spiritual nature of this hunger, the wisdom of approaching this hunger as a yearning for the Divine Within, and the goofiness that accompanies my efforts to satisfy this spiritual hunger in the realm of flesh and blood relationship. 

Nourishing Psyche and Soul

       As I review the teachings of Richard Moss, I’m struck by how deeply he attends to the fullness of our humanity - how he invites growth in realms physical, psychological and spiritual.

       We humans - embodied, self-reflective and spiritual beings -live with a complexity, not experienced elsewhere in creation, as far as we know.  Angels and animals, I imagine, operate much more simply.  For us, the body, the psyche and the soul need nurture in a balanced way.  Neglect or over-emphasis of any one aspect harms the whole. 

       Here are a couple of nourishing exercises I’ve been enjoying lately.  Both involve the breath.  One is for psyche.  One is for soul.

       Embracing Vulnerability.  I’m vulnerable.  When cut, I bleed.  When rejected, I hurt.  When a friend dies, I grieve.  I’m vulnerable to fear and anxiety, to anger and resentment, to shame and regret.  I’m vulnerable to the thoughts and stories I create.  I’m vulnerable to the prospect of death.  I’m vulnerable to the temporary nature of joy.

       Instead of battling vulnerability and working so hard to perfect my inner life, I can soften in mindful and compassionate awareness.  Rather than controlling me, I can companion me. 

       So, in this first exercise, I begin by noticing and acknowledging whatever I’m experiencing.  I sense it in my body. Then, gently, I breathe into the bodily sensation and let its energy move through me as I exhale.

       I become less resistant and more transparent to my humanity.  I flow.

       Breathing Love.  Love is the first expression of God and the essence of our spiritual nature.  Love is the energy that feeds the spirit, connects us in oneness and, at a fundamental level, defines us. 

       In this exercise, as I inhale, I bring universal love (sometimes imaged as light) into my heart.  With each exhalation, I release the love, imagining it radiating outward/everywhere.

       By consciously breathing love, we enter the flow of an expanding universe of love.  We soften.  Our hearts naturally melt into the One Heart. 

       We become more transparent to our divinity.

       Two nourishing exercises – both inviting us to soften and simplify – both gently guiding us toward ever deepening wholeness and ever deeper transparency with life itself.

       Enjoy!

Richard

       My time with Richard Moss – teacher, mentor, author and fellow sojourner – has been truly transformative.  This fall, he is coming to central Minnesota to offer a Deep Work retreat.

       Richard listens deeply to soul and psyche.  Mystical and practical, Richard’s teaching and his presence invite movement in stillness, a greater comfort in one’s own skin and a richer relationship with self, other and the larger field of life that connects all.  With insight, wisdom, tenderness and humor, Richard companions us along the courageous path of inner spaciousness, where the heart expands and the mind makes room for mystery – and we remember that we already are that which we seek.

       Please join me, as part of a small group of fellow travelers, in what promises to be an extraordinary gathering, with an extraordinary guide.

       To find out more, please click on the following link:

  http://richardmoss.com/events/deep-work-in-minnesota-readying-the-soul-for-its-next-steps/

       Note:  Scholarships are available for those with limited finances and a heart for deep work.

God Consciousness

       This mystery story, in its latest form, came to me during a series of meditations around the Easter season.  I share it with hesitation and humility.  On the one hand, it feels a bit blasphemous.  On the other hand, it’s not a new story.  It’s been told off and on – and is remarkably similar to the message someone got crucified for sharing nearly 2000 years ago. 

       In the beginning, there was no thing.  Only sacred emptiness, a profound, fertile, eternal, intelligent, creative silence – God.

       Suddenly, the Silence expressed itself in an amazing blossoming of love – hot love, intense love, sublime love, messy love – unbelievably creative and destructive.  Were there anyone to observe it, the blossoming would have seemed totally chaotic.  We now know it to be an expression with an underlying order and intelligence.

       In this story, the first expression of God is love. The next expression, as blossoming cooled, is light.  With ever more cooling comes density.  The material world forms.  It, too, is spoken.  Every star, planet, mountain, sea, rock, tree, insect, turtle, fish, bird, mammal, and human is a word in the vocabulary of God. 

       Everything – love, light, matter – is an expression of God.  Every interaction is an interaction with God.  When we hold a rock, behold a sunset, touch a leaf, break bread, sip wine, caress a lover or laugh with a child, we are communing with God. 

       Human consciousness allows us to re-trace the movements of divine expression, to move closer to Source.  We all are familiar with the density of the material world, including the density of the human personality, which can be quite goofy.  We all know about living there. 

       Many of us are learning how to spiritually soften, to raise our vibrations.  We remember that we are also light.  As we continue to lighten – enlighten, perhaps – we remember that we are love.

       And, sometimes, sojourning into silence, we enter the deepest mystery of God consciousness, the wordless apprehension that, along with everything else we are – goofiness, density, light, love – we are God.  All is God.

      Imagine the impact on this planet if we brought God consciousness to all our relationships – with each other, with plants and animals, and with earth herself. 

       Imagine the peace.  Imagine the reverence.  Imagine the joy.

Breathing Toward Quiet

       Some days, there’s so much chatter inside that invitations toward the quiet Divine Within are difficult to honor.  I don’t like to yank myself into quiet.  I don’t want to make meditation a battle.  For times when the journey feels like a big leap, I wonder about a series of smaller steps that can assist in the movement toward quiet inner spaciousness. 

       This morning, I experimented with a structured approach that feels gentle and respectful – and was quite helpful.  It begins by breathing into, and out from, the seven energy centers called chakras:  the root (base of the body’s trunk), the sacral (lower belly), the solar plexus (upper belly), the heart, the throat, the third eye (middle of the forehead) and the crown (top of the head).

       The first step is one of clearing/cleansing.  Inhale love/light into the root chakra.  (I invite love energy to move up from Mother Earth or in from the Universe.)  Exhale with the intention of clearing the chakra, sending whatever energy is not needed back to the universe or down to the earth for composting.  (I find it helpful to say “love” on the inhalation and “clear” on the exhalation.)  Repeat with the other chakras – in ascending order – devoting a breath (or two or three) to each energy center.

       The second step is just like the first one, except that it focuses on opening.  Inhale love/light into each chakra and invite/imagine chakras opening as you exhale.  I find helpful the words “love” (as I breathe in) and “open” (as I breathe out).  Some folks imagine flowers opening.

       The third step deepens heart opening.  Inhale love/light into the heart.  Exhale love/light from the heart, radiating love outward.  For words, I use “love” when inhaling and “forth” when exhaling.   

       The final step (described with more detail in my last posting) is the movement toward the spacious, quiet Divine Within.  Inhale love/light into the heart; exhale gently toward the deep quiet at the center of being.  Here again, at first, it may help to use words like “love” and “quiet”, as you breathe in and out.  As the quiet deepens, all words fade.

       Structure is meant to help, not to confine.  No need for precision or perfection here.  Life is flexible and forgiving.  Communion with the Divine Within is natural for us.  Paths to quiet spaciousness are many and unique.  Just pay attention to what feels good/right.  

       And trust your heart.

Divine Within

       Lately, in seated meditation, I’ve been hanging out in what I call the Divine Within – a quiet, vast spaciousness inside, where the center of individual being merges with the center of all being.  

        Mystics of all traditions speak of this spacious, silent, sacred emptiness, where all is one.  Each tradition teaches ways of journeying there.  Traveling to the deep quiet is natural for us.  We each find our own pathways.

       My recent travels begin with the breath.  I inhale universal energy – love, light, mercy, tenderness, compassion, the good stuff – into my heart and gently follow the exhalation downward toward the center.   For me, the center seems somewhere in the lower belly, in an area Qi Gong practitioners call the lower dantian.  Others may sense it elsewhere.

       As I move into the quiet, the sensation of breathing fades, along with everything else.  Only the quiet remains – sometimes as a cavernous silence, sometimes as a faint hum – often lasting only for the briefest of moments – often lasting longer. 

       Distractions, of course, visit regularly.  Once aware, I gently invite myself back to breath – inhaling the good stuff and exhaling again toward the quiet.  The more I treat myself to sacred silence, the easier it is to keep returning.  Meditation practice is more about returning than it is about staying.

       The Divine Within is home to all of us, a place of rest and re-creation, a place of quiet companionship with the universe.  From this perspective, with some practice, meditation becomes less a discipline and more a vacation – a welcome respite from fretting and doing, the delicious experience of simply being.

       Treat yourself. 

       One of the most important principles that has guided me well – when I’ve remembered it – is the idea that if I want anything to change, in myself or in someone else, I have to first approach it with acceptance and love. 

       Here is a passage from Mark Nepo that resonates with me.

Looking with Love

“Our best chance to find the Oneness of Life is by looking with love into everything and everyone we meet.  Looking with love is a form of saying yes.  We give birth to everything we look at with love, including our own soul. This shining forth is the one gift we’re born with that is always near, though we often lose sight of it or lose faith in it. …

“Like sunlight, looking with love is a warm presence that helps everything looked upon find its strength.  The presence of love is how questions grow under the moon in the open patch of yard; how in our pain we suddenly find a way to create peace; how being with each other, in the midst of great difficulty, creates a sense of home.”

Mark Nepo, The Endless Practice, p. 65.

Love’s Entanglement

       Maybe it’s the Valentine’s season. 

       Lately, I’ve seen a number of couples experiencing powerful entanglement issues that leave them feeling hopelessly mired in relational turmoil.  I learn so much from these encounters – sometimes through the humbling experience of finding my own interior dramas caught up in theirs.

       We bring our wounded, unfinished selves to our primary relationships – hoping the relationship will offer the comfort, security, loving connection and validation we seek.  Inevitably, at some point, the relationship will activate, and aggravate, those very sore spots we were hoping to soothe.  And therein lies the healing potential of love’s entanglement.  In our most intimate relationships, life invites us – gently, persistently and, eventually, insistently – to face ourselves and to take responsibility for our own healing.

       Navigating love’s entanglement requires heart and mind to work together – in healing partnership.

       First, we need to listen deeply to the wisdom and intelligence of the heart – the center of compassion within us that identifies and honors what we yearn for:  safety, acceptance, peace, freedom, connection, love, being valued, known, appreciated and cherished.  The heart points us toward which of these in particular we need most.

       While the heart directs us toward what we need, the wisdom and intelligence of the mind shows us how to satisfy our heart’s desire.  When I listen to my inner grown-up, it becomes absolutely clear that I have to assume full responsibility for the care of my wounded heart.  I need to attend to it and offer it what it needs.  No matter what anyone else does, it is my job to befriend me.

       I am in charge of the love I give.  I am in charge of my readiness to receive.  I am in charge of my self-acceptance and my freedom to be.  I can’t delegate these tasks to anyone else. 

       I am in control of what I give to me and what I give to you.  I am not in control of what you offer me or how you treat yourself.

       Loving connection flows from a sacred commitment to ourselves and from the recognition that we need relationship with others.  Loving connection requires humility and self-affirmation, vulnerability and appropriate self-protection, assertion and a spirit of compromise.  It requires knowing and being known.  We listen to ourselves.  We listen to each other.  And while we are not in control of a relationship’s economy, we can learn wise ways of operating with each other that make it more likely that we will both get more of what we need.

       In his book, The New Rules of Marriage, Terrence Real offers a cornucopia of savvy suggestions for mutual empowerment in relationship.  For example, it’s usually much more effective to ask for what we want rather than complain later about what we didn’t get.  He also endorses the win-win question:  “What do you need from me so that I can help you give me what I want?” (p. 177)

       Wisdom sometimes calls for direct communication and sometimes invites us toward more nuanced ways of relating.  For example, if I want more playfulness or light heartedness in my relationship, it may work better to just start behaving that way – rather than initiating a serious conversation about how to be more playful.

       When we become entangled, the instinctive move is to do more of the same, more of what’s familiar.  With mindfulness, we open our eyes and notice what’s ineffective.  We listen deeper.   We see life’s invitation to stretch, to grow in skill and care. We unfold toward a more complete version of who we are. Then, interestingly enough, we begin to experience the happiness we’ve been seeking all along.

       Life is kind.  God has a sense of humor.  Relationships are messy.  Entanglement in love is inevitable.  Let it teach us.  Let it deepen us.

       Happy Valentine’s!